Smoking is a habit that almost always begins in youth, usually before age 16 so these teens had their first interview when they were 16 years of age and again when they became 22 years old. Those who smoked at least 20 cigarettes daily were 16 times more likely to suffer regular anxiety attacks and panic and more than 5 times as likely to suffer from some form of personality disorder.

We have often heard that smoking will calm the nerves. However, as was indicated above, smoking seems to have the opposite effect. This research data was done on 688 teens between 1985 and 1986 and again between 1991 and 1993. When these young people were interviewed as teenagers, 39 of them were smoking at least 20 cigarettes daily and 44 of them had anxiety attacks. There seems to be a definite correlation between smoking and anxiety.

After taking such factors into consideration such as alcohol and drug use and temperament, researchers found that those young people who were smoking at least 20 cigarettes or more daily increased their chances by seven times to develop agoraphobia during their early adulthood. They were also more than 5 times as likely to suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and almost 16 times as likely to suffer from anxiety attacks.  These facts show that there is a strong link between smoking and anxiety and mental health.

If you smoke and want to give it up for good then I recommend this great CD set by Dr Jane Mataai Smith called  The Easy Way to Stop Smoking & Be Forever Smoke Free w/ Self Hypnosis and Subliminal Suggestion 2CDs. Also effective to many has been Nicorette Gum. For your general and mental health you need to start today, not tomorrow. If you smoke, make it your New Year’s resolution to give it up this year.

When I am talking about  SHYNESS here in this post I am referring to someone with social phobia.  Saying you are shy seems to be more generally accepted than saying you feel anxious in social situations or to admit you may suffer from social anxiety disorder.

Do you remember a time when you were not shy?  I do!  I remember myself as an outgoing child and my mother backs that up.  What happened then to me?  I think that my thinking changed in very small ways over a long time.  I started off on the positive road and slowly my course changed, and one day I came to a fork where I took a more negative one.  I didn’t realize until I took the turn.

Small positive changes over a long time can also make a difference in your shyness.  Make these changes, now positive ones, and see the big difference it can make in your life.

Changing our thoughts isn’t that difficult but it takes practice.  If you decide to do nothing then nothing will change in your life. Shyness sometimes leads us to let others control our lives and make our decisions.  Take back the control and have a better holiday period.

Don’t hide away, do something social that you think you can manage like having a Christmas drink with friends or colleagues, call a friend on the telephone, accept an invitation to share dinner with friends, get the kids in the car and admire the Christmas lights around the neighborhood or wish a total stranger Merry Christmas.

We hide our shyness and pretend not be be shy but if you start in small ways you will be amazed how easy it becomes in time with practice.  If you need help though with these suggestions then I recommend THE SOCIAL STRATEGIES, an online program which has helped so many people to live normal lives again.

I tell myself to relax as often as I remember to. This helps a lot over the day if I remember it enough.  Relaxation music is also helpful and I listen to that before I go to sleep and I find it helps too at the airport to relax me and diffuse that travel anxiety I might be feeling.

Some of the ways I manage travel anxiety are:

I stop and think why I’m having a vacation.  I had a dream and I put a plan into action so it would become reality.  Now is the time to enjoy this time and look forward to it.  This is the time to enjoy the experience.

Be organized when I am at the airport and/or the cruise terminal.  I have all my documents handy and together. This helps me be more confident and relaxed.

I limit what I drink as far as alcohol is concerned as that makes me feel hot and confused which just makes my anxiety about traveling a lot worse.  I usually settle with one drink at dinner if I feel like it.

I keep a travel diary so that I can go back and relive the memories and it reinforces how well I managed on that trip.  Looking at all my diaries reminds me how many times I have traveled and it makes me feel good about myself.

I accept that not everything will go as planned and that sometimes you have to accept that change happens and planes get relayed or canceled or the hotel you picked online is really quite seedy or the excursion you booked is not really what you wanted but I have learnt to be open to that change and go with the flow.  This has been the most challenging part of traveling for me.

Traveling also makes me trust my decisions and to make more choices.  I wouldn’t have done that before. I found it hard to make any decisions in case I made the wrong ones. Now I can make the decisions I need to and if I made a mistake I have realized its not the end of the world.

I don’t worry about everything little thing but just enjoy and have a good time.  I try not to over analyze everything that’s going on around me.  Worry doesn’t achieve anything anyway.

Traveling has really empowered me and given me many great things including opening up my mind to new places, different people and being more tolerant, but the greatest thing I have achieved from traveling is confidence in myself.

I now manage my travel anxiety pretty well now and have all the tools to send it packing but in the other direction.

If you need some help with your anxiety then check out PANIC AWAY

Massage - Dr. Scholl’s DR6624 Toe-Touch Foot Spa with Bubbles and Massage.  A foot bubble bath and massage in one.

A book about a hobby or interest such as The Big-Ass Book of Crafts. I’m sure there is something in there for everyone.

Aromatherapy idea - Aroma Home Aromatherapy Microwaveable Hot Booties - Hot Sox.  How wonderful to have warm feet this winter and have the lovely aroma of pure essential oils.  I can feel the stress melt away at the thought. This would be my pick - family and friends please note

Music CD - The Ultimate Relaxation Christmas Album. It’s hard to believe the words  relaxation and Christmas can be used together but it does this time.

Comedy DVD - Mamma Mia! The Movie (Two Disc Special Edition).  Watch this lovely movie and sing along with them as this is a great stress reliever too.

Gift pack of relaxing tea - You’re My Cup of Tea Gourmet Food Gift Basket - a Great Gift For Her! Tea is so good for you so why not sit back and relax with a cup of tea,  and try some tea you may not have had before like the mango green tea.

Jigsaws and games - Puzzle 3D Eiffel Tower. You can imagine you are in Paris while you do it.  Well I would as Ive been to Paris and would love to relive that memory.

Oh and if its YOU that is stressed, then just go buy a new pair of shoes or an  Oversized ”Ashlee” Tote - Brown, Red, Black or Purple handbag.  That works for me!  You cant have enough shoes or handbags can you?

These are a few of my ideas and maybe you can come up with some more.  Enjoy Christmas this year and make it as stress free as you can.   Relax and enjoy the season.

It talks about learned experiences and how that affects us.  I suppose its similar to how we form other habits by reinforcing them.  What it didn’t talk about though was what I call ‘the wave’ which comes with panic attacks.  I used to dread ‘the wave’  but now when I feel some tingling in my fingers or scalp I can stop ‘the wave’ from coming on and taking me into a full blown panic attack.  I realize then that my anxiety is high and I work at getting it down.

It’s not easy to overcome panic attacks but it can be done and I have done it myself. Don’t be fooled though into thinking its easy or that you can read a book or watch some videos and it will all go away.   That doesn’t happen.   It takes time and you must apply what you learn.  I recommend PANIC AWAY for help with overcoming panic.  Just read their testimonials to see the relief they have given to so many people.

These panic attacks continued at social outings especially at restaurants for the next 20 or more years until I decided that I couldn’t live this way.  Because I am not a very social person it didn’t affect me as much as someone who was outgoing but I found I was now avoiding situations, so my social life was very limited.  I decided to get help and was referred to a Psychiatrist.  She prescribed drugs to help but these gave me so many side affects, some still are with me now such as a creeping feeling in my scalp that I’ not sure that I got a lot of benefit from them.  I did get some temporary relief, like a band aid solution, but it didn’t really help me solve the root problem.

I was finally diagnosed as having Social Anxiety Disorder though and that give me a name to my problem.

I went on for a few more years until I got some good advice to try Cognitive Behavior Therapy with a Psychologist at a local Mental Health Service.  A group class was starting soon so I took advantage of that and joined in.  What surprised me initially was that the people in the group were all different in how social anxiety was affecting them.  One person had a problem with making and answering telephone calls.  Another couldn’t talk to strangers and I couldn’t eat in restaurants.  The real surprise was that we all benefited by the classes.

It taught me to recognize triggers for my social anxiety and to take one step at a time towards overcoming the behaviors I had re enforced over the years. We used a work book and did some group work as well.

More on my first steps to overcoming this disorder in my next post.

If you are looking to get relief NOW from social anxiety and panic attacks go to PANIC AWAY which is one of the internets most successful online course for treating panic disorder today.  They get amazing results, just check out their testimonials.

Social anxiety affects millions of people yearly and is the third largest mental health problem  in the world. We are often referred to as shy but that is not necessarily so.  I am only shy or nervous in a few situations whereas I can give a talk to groups of people without any problem (public speaking is the most common social fear).  Some people are shy but don’t show it outwardly, actually acting  quite the opposite to hide their nervousness.

What frightens me:
Meeting new people in new places
Dating (although now Im engaged that is no longer a problem I face)
Looking different from everyone else
Embarrassing myself in front of others

I would describe myself as an emotional person and that makes me more likely to be shy or a worrier or to get depressed etc.  I don’t regard this though as a complete negative as I also am kind hearted and a caring person which is the positive side of being that emotional person. Many factors also play a part in whether you develop social anxiety such as the way You were brought up and your family life,  your learned experiences and the way you reacted to them.

I probably developed social anxiety  in my early 20s but cant think of any event that may have triggered it off.  As a child I was confident, outgoing and friendly. It must have been a gradual thing.  I was a young mother at the time and my self esteem was not very good, I worried about everything and I became a negative thinker. I didn’t socialize much as we didn’t have much money and so it was confined to mainly family events and meeting my husbands friends. I cant remember having too many friends of my own at that time.

As a shy person I worried about what others thought of me and I didn’t feel I measured up at social situations like parties and other social gatherings.  It wasn’t helped by having a husband who was a critical and negative person, not just of me, but of most things in general.  I always felt and sometimes made to feel that I was fat and frumpy next to the other wives.  This in turn made me feel that I didn’t want to go or contribute to the conversations at these gatherings.  People just thought I was shy.

As a consequence I started to avoid social situations like the plague.

_______________________________________________

A great book I would like to recommend here and now is Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia: A Step-by-Step Guide (Clinical Application of Evidence-Based Psychotherapy).  It is a guide and a work book by Ronald M Rapee PhD that I have used and found to be very helpful to understanding and managing shyness and social anxiety.

Children are often worried about meeting new people, giving a speech in class, being frightened of the dark or changing schools but these are normal responses and feelings, but when the worry is unrealistic is when there is a real problem.  Often the result is that they will avoid the situation or event.

Child anxiety and fear need to be taken seriously because the child believes that their feel is very real, so listen to them when they approach you.  It carries the same symptoms as adults have but a child doesn’t have the brain capacity or experience to make sense of them.

A very anxious child’s phobia can be made worse by an over protective parent.  Encourage your child to face up to their fears in their own time and to try new things despite the result.  Tell them that mistakes are OK and are just a part of learning from their experiences.

Teaching your child to calm themselves down when they get upset is a very good tactic to help them in situations when you aren’t there to help.  I also found that having a routine for my own children gave them a sense of stability and security, oh and it made my life less stressful too.  This also helps your child from suffering from separation anxiety.

Child anxiety can also carry on into adulthood so dealing with the problems now will mean that this wont carry on through the rest of their life.  If you suspect that your child does suffer from anxiety then please see your family doctor for advice.

A great self help program is available at Panic Away. Check it out and have a look at some of the testemonials. They have a new video on the site as well that describes me to a tee even to the situation of eating out.  Unbelievable!  Even looks like me….I wish.

color

Guest post courtesy of Corny54, a friend of mine from Squidoo

Surround yourself with

1. bright colors
2. bright light
3. pleasant sounds
4. nice smells

********************

Spring garden

Corny is a man of few words but he has the right ideas about color.  I love the summer and am happier then, when the sun is bright.  I love Spring because of the smell of the flowers and the sound of the sea makes me start feeling relaxed instantly.  As you can see by my site here,  I love color and try and try and surround myself with it.

The picture at the right was taken at Tulip Time, a spring festival in the Southern Highlands of NSW, Australia.  It was a beautiful day in the garden in spite of the rain, the flowers especially the beautiful tulips brightened up my day.

I highly recommend the following book and CD from Hay House as it will change your life starting in small ways.  It is Eliminating Stress, Finding Inner Peace Book with CD. Hay house is a leader in self help books of high quality that improve the quality of people’s lives.

Affirmations have been used since we have had language.  Personal affirmations are tools that can help you rewrite negative tapes about yourself and your life and are the easiest way to make positive changes and can help you to manage stress.

I hope you enjoy reading mine.

Do you use affirmations?  Please share them here.

If you want to write your own affirmations, but don’t know how to start, then there is technology called Affirm Now that can help.  To check them out Click Here!

Hay House also have a great book called DailyOM which are Daily Inspirational Thoughts For A Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilling Day by Madisyn Taylor.  Hay House has a reputation for high integrity and quality products.