Most people will experience this in their lifetime and yet most people don’t know what is anxiety and why it happens. The reason for its increase in recent years includes a variety of causes, including living in a more stressful society, unhealthy diets, and the rise in substance abuse.

Peaceful and beautiful

Anxiety disorders occur when the anxiety system doesn’t work properly or when overwhelmed. It can make you feel you are losing control and even to the extreme where you think that you are going to die. It makes the body go into a ‘fight or flight’ response. Anxiety can stop you from living your life the way you want and that is when it is called a disorder.

An anxiety disorder can greatly impair a person’s functioning and a professional diagnosis and treatment is important. Recurrent anxiety attacks that occur over a period of months can be classified as an anxiety illness. Anxiety can reveal itself in a variety of ways. From one-time attacks, to recurrent episodes, phobias and panic attacks.

If you haven’t experienced a panic attack it is very difficult to explain the terror you can experience and the physical symptoms that go with it such as in my case; tightness in the chest, nausea, flushed face, tingling in my fingers and scalp and diarrhea.

You can get more information on overcoming anxiety from PANIC AWAY as they get results . Read some of the testimonials as well for real stories on how anxiety has affected people’s lives.

When I am talking about  SHYNESS here in this post I am referring to someone with social phobia.  Saying you are shy seems to be more generally accepted than saying you feel anxious in social situations or to admit you may suffer from social anxiety disorder.

Do you remember a time when you were not shy?  I do!  I remember myself as an outgoing child and my mother backs that up.  What happened then to me?  I think that my thinking changed in very small ways over a long time.  I started off on the positive road and slowly my course changed, and one day I came to a fork where I took a more negative one.  I didn’t realize until I took the turn.

Small positive changes over a long time can also make a difference in your shyness.  Make these changes, now positive ones, and see the big difference it can make in your life.

Changing our thoughts isn’t that difficult but it takes practice.  If you decide to do nothing then nothing will change in your life. Shyness sometimes leads us to let others control our lives and make our decisions.  Take back the control and have a better holiday period.

Don’t hide away, do something social that you think you can manage like having a Christmas drink with friends or colleagues, call a friend on the telephone, accept an invitation to share dinner with friends, get the kids in the car and admire the Christmas lights around the neighborhood or wish a total stranger Merry Christmas.

We hide our shyness and pretend not be be shy but if you start in small ways you will be amazed how easy it becomes in time with practice.  If you need help though with these suggestions then I recommend THE SOCIAL STRATEGIES, an online program which has helped so many people to live normal lives again.

Reprinted with permission by Chato B. Stewart from http://www.mentalhealthhumor.com

I had recently finished a job and was starting another and in between we were having a few days break at the coast.  The time just beforehand had been stressful but I was now looking forward to the new job starting.  A few days break away was what I needed.

I didn’t realize how stressed I really was until we got to our destination.  I thought at first I was a little car sick but after a few hours I knew that it really was anxiety.  Maybe all that stress that was built up just needed to release.  I didn’t want it to ruin my weekend.

I got out my iPod that has some great binaural beat relaxation music on it and got myself in a nice, warm, comfortable position, closed my eyes and turned it on.  I did feel a little better by the end so I played one of the tracks again.  Now I really felt the benefit and I was able to go out that night not fearing that I would have a panic attack.  If you ever have had a panic attack you will realize exactly how I felt when I had the control back.

Relaxation music and especially ones that have binaural beats really work for me in an emergency and I was so glad that I had taken my iPod that weekend and I know it will be the first thing I pack in the future.

I am fortunate that I have learned slow breathing techniques which assists the relaxation process and combined with the music I know that I can bring my stress levels down fairly quickly.  I know I will have to make sure that I include other relaxation methods in my daily life and not neglect my nerves in the future or it will happen again and I don’t want that.

The weekend could have been ruined for me but instead I had a lovely break by the sea before starting another stressful experience of starting a new job.  Oh the music I have downloaded is  Slow Down and Relax which is 20 minutes and Manifestation (for positive thinking) which is 30 minutes and of course I have the 10 minute sample.

Smoking is a habit that almost always begins in youth, usually before age 16 so these teens had their first interview when they were 16 years of age and again when they became 22 years old. Those who smoked at least 20 cigarettes daily were 16 times more likely to suffer regular anxiety attacks and panic and more than 5 times as likely to suffer from some form of personality disorder.

We have often heard that smoking will calm the nerves. However, as was indicated above, smoking seems to have the opposite effect. This research data was done on 688 teens between 1985 and 1986 and again between 1991 and 1993. When these young people were interviewed as teenagers, 39 of them were smoking at least 20 cigarettes daily and 44 of them had anxiety attacks. There seems to be a definite correlation between smoking and anxiety.

After taking such factors into consideration such as alcohol and drug use and temperament, researchers found that those young people who were smoking at least 20 cigarettes or more daily increased their chances by seven times to develop agoraphobia during their early adulthood. They were also more than 5 times as likely to suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and almost 16 times as likely to suffer from anxiety attacks.  These facts show that there is a strong link between smoking and anxiety and mental health.

If you smoke and want to give it up for good then I recommend this great CD set by Dr Jane Mataai Smith called  The Easy Way to Stop Smoking & Be Forever Smoke Free w/ Self Hypnosis and Subliminal Suggestion 2CDs. Also effective to many has been Nicorette Gum. For your general and mental health you need to start today, not tomorrow. If you smoke, make it your New Year’s resolution to give it up this year.

Life is full of stresses but by adapting ourselves to be resilient and positive is a way we can live our life being happy.  How we react to stress and problems in our lives will determine the outcome.  Being happy within ourselves and knowing how to increase it is a way to make our lives more fulfilled and also more healthy.  You have a choice so don’t worry, be happy as the song says.

Making a conscious effort to have a positive attitude will give you a good chance of turning your feelings from sad into hope and happiness.  When you have a positive outlook you promote within your self a greater confidence and good feeling because you can think more practically about problems and your mood will follow, leading you to optimism and a chance of being happy.

Negative thoughts are not always from inside your head but are most often from outside.  TV, music, newpapers and the internet expose us to disturbing images and sounds.  You may not realize it but those are affecting your thoughts.  You have the choice to not watch or listen to these influences or to ration them into exposure that cant influence you adversely.

Worry is something you can decide to let affect you or you can decide to take some control and decide how it is going to affect you.  You can decide to let it make you miserable or you can decide to solve problems, look at alternative ways of thinking and decide instead to be positive and work at being happy.

So don’t worry, be happy.

But why do we fear speaking in front of others so very much? Psychologists believe that it is not really public speaking that make people experience so much STRESS but the fear of making a mistake in front of others. Public speaking anxiety can however be conquered with the right attitude and commitment.

Here are some points that can start you in your path towards a public speaking anxiety free life:

Speak about what you know
Talking about something that you have a passion for and know will not only lessen the anxiety that you may experience and will also make you appear fervent and enthusiastic about the project.

Use Humor
What’s the best way to impress an audience? To make them feel connected to you. And how do you exactly do that? Use humor. Open your speech with a joke or funny obervation. Everyone loves to laugh. This can also help you relax. It’s also a good strategy for covering up errors when they happen as well.

Practice
When you practice, the chance for making a mistake decreases. The biggest benefit though will be that it will make you feel more self assured, knowing that you have prepared for the speech and that you have done your best to present it.

Involve The Audience
The best way to appear good before an audience is to actually acknowledge their existence. Also when you do this it makes the speech less formal and more comfortable for everyone. A less formal approach can excuse the speaker from some blunders.

My main coping technique in regard to public speaking anxiety is to think of everyone as children. Children are accepting and not critical.  Find what works for you as we all react differently to stress. Maybe all you need is to listen to some RELAXATION MUSIC beforehand and that is what I do as it brings my stress levels down quite dramatically.

For me this poem is all about growing older, getting through the dark days, knowing sunny days are coming and to accept that our life is not perfect.  Being ‘blue’ is ok if you give it a time frame to experience it, then move on.

Overcoming depression

Do you feel like this sometimes?  I know I do but the difference between being blue and depressed is that the feeling passes and I find something to give me hope or to smile about.  It important to know the difference in the two and get help if you are depressed.  There is ‘help at the end of the tunnel’ we just have to see that things change in life and so can we.

When I feel blue I reach out to those who love me unconditionally, my grandchildren and my pets.  They just ‘love you’  for being YOU.

I reach out now to all of my readers who are reading this post and relate and give you a virtual hug.  I know its not a real one but its the best I can do right now to tell you that someone cares.  You are not alone and there are many of us who suffer anxiety and feeling the blues.  I encourage you to share your feeling here by posting a comment and embracing all of us in our search for a happier life.

My last comment here is that without the dark days you don’t appreciate the really sunny ones.

We all need to eat but the problem starts when you comfort eat when you are anxious.  Stress and anxiety can be a bad aspect of your life if you react to it by overeating.  This can lead to weight gain and health problems as well.  I was one who was a comfort eater and when things went wrong for me I would take pleasure in my food.

Finding out what your stressors are is very important so you are aware of why you are overeating.  Sometimes we can’t change the stressors eg a bereavement, but we can control how we react to it.  We often hope that the comfort we get will make the underlying problem go away but unfortunately it just makes it worse or creates other problems.

What are comfort foods?  Well high fat foods like french fries, sugary foods like cakes and carbohydrates like bread are comfort foods.  Maybe that is why hamburgers are such a popular choice as they are a combination of comforts foods.

Firstly we need to recognize we have a problem.  Trying to work through these will help overcome overeating and also by finding alternatives to eating such as exercise (choice an exercise you really like to do) or distraction techniques may help us in the long run.

Don’t let stress and anxiety make you fat and unhealthy, both emotionally and physically.  If you find you can’t help yourself then seek help from professional counselors.  Also try relaxation and visualization techniques and remember that overcoming emotional eating is really taking control of your emotional well being and not just your weight.

Practice good eating habits and get regular exercise, find new ways of problem solving along with a positive attitude will all help you to free yourself of your overeating and anxiety for good.

Like most anxieties we often avoid the problem rather than face it and this is the case with fear of failure.  It is easier not to take the risk so we go in avoidance mode.  We must understand what has made us fear failing in the first place.  Has outside influences had a part in our feelings?

An example of this might be that we are told in our youth that we can never do anything right and so be believe it.   Is this outside assessment an accurate one or just something we have accepted as truth?  Fear can immobilize us and we get so wrapped up in that fear that we really will fail or not try at all.

Think of ways to overcome this fear of failure.  What would be the outcome of taking the risk?  What is the worst case scenario?  How long would it take you to recover from the failure if you did take it?  Looking at these things will help you decide to face the fear and act or not.

When you plan things, especially in smaller steps, then it is easier to take a risk.  Have a back up plan also, and this especially will give you the confidence to act and face the fear.  Once you do it, it will become easier the next time eg joining a club, making a speech or having a first date.

The greatest obstacles to your success is avoidance and procrastination.  We tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow or not at all.  If we don’t take risks and face our fears then we will be in the same situation we are in today, tomorrow, next week and next year.

Fear can immobilize us but we can face our fears and our lives will be change hopefully for the better.  We don’t need to worry about the fear of failure, just take the chance.