Like most anxieties we often avoid the problem rather than face it and this is the case with fear of failure.  It is easier not to take the risk so we go in avoidance mode.  We must understand what has made us fear failing in the first place.  Has outside influences had a part in our feelings?

An example of this might be that we are told in our youth that we can never do anything right and so be believe it.   Is this outside assessment an accurate one or just something we have accepted as truth?  Fear can immobilize us and we get so wrapped up in that fear that we really will fail or not try at all.

Think of ways to overcome this fear of failure.  What would be the outcome of taking the risk?  What is the worst case scenario?  How long would it take you to recover from the failure if you did take it?  Looking at these things will help you decide to face the fear and act or not.

When you plan things, especially in smaller steps, then it is easier to take a risk.  Have a back up plan also, and this especially will give you the confidence to act and face the fear.  Once you do it, it will become easier the next time eg joining a club, making a speech or having a first date.

The greatest obstacles to your success is avoidance and procrastination.  We tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow or not at all.  If we don’t take risks and face our fears then we will be in the same situation we are in today, tomorrow, next week and next year.

Fear can immobilize us but we can face our fears and our lives will be change hopefully for the better.  We don’t need to worry about the fear of failure, just take the chance.

I suffer from anxiety attacks!  I don’t want to make that sound like a final statement because most of the time I don’t suffer from anxiety attacks and panic.  It is only when I have let myself get too stressed that I may have them now.

Drinking too much coffee, not getting enough sleep or eating properly or a combination of these can also contribute to my having an anxiety attack. These are my triggers and I have learned to recognize what they are and also how to eliminate or reduce the affects they have on my mental health.

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Giving a speech  or presenting before a group, whether the group is a thousand or just ten, qualifies as one of most people’s biggest fears. It is not uncommon to find a person who is terrified at the prospect of having to speak to a roomful of people.

But why do we fear speaking in front of others so very much? Psychologists believe that it is not really public speaking that make people experience so much STRESS but the fear of making a mistake in front of others. Public speaking anxiety can however be conquered with the right attitude and commitment.

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We should all realize that a time will come when we will have to face our fears and anxieties irrespective of how difficult they may be. There is one thing that I learned and that is that you cant hide or runaway from your fears forever. Taking medications, drinking alcohol, or other methods will not take away your problems and fears.  A quote that I think applies here is  “No man is free who is not master of himself” by Epictetus.

So what do you do to make your problems and fears go away? Well, since you cant run away from them, then the best solution is to face your fears head on no matter how powerful they may be. The key is to be courageous in how you try to manage these fears. Read the rest of this entry »

dark feelings

How do I know I have anxiety?

You may be showing the signs of anxiety if the feelings or behaviors below affect your everyday life:

• Worrying about everything

• Feeling negative

• Feeling restless or irritable

• Find it hard to do everyday activities like work and study

• Lack of concentration

• Difficulty sleeping and/or relaxing

• Avoidance behavior

• Physical symptoms like heart palpitations

• Irrational thinking

• Have muscle pain

If you experience more than a few of these then you should consult a medical practitioner to be assessed professionally. Don’t avoid seeking help if you do have these signs of anxiety. Don’t wait until you get worse . Avoidance is also a sign that you are not handling the anxiety.

Fear is the most typical of all panic attack symptoms. This is often characterized by the strong desire to flee. You cant predict a panic attack but a trigger is usually responsible for the onset of an attack. Stress, depression, phobias, drugs or a traumatic experience can be triggers.

If you experience immobilizing fear, lack of concentration, depression or phobias then they could lead eventually to a panic attack. Read the rest of this entry »